Day Twelve

It's 6am and I have been awake since 3am. That was the worst night's pain in a while.

I have been waiting for the pain to go before I started writing - it has subsided a little. My mind has been whirling around, thinking all sorts of things. One of the things I am cursed with is a memory for conversations. The problem is that very few other people can remember than as well as I can. I have to distract myself from thinking about them, because the more I replay them the more firmly they are fixed in my memory.

And so I won't write about them on here. But I was very unsettled yesterday. I remember one circuit I was in - Bude & Holsworthy - when someone said to me at a meeting, "You are analysing us aren't you?" I admitted that I was, because that is what I do. I sit in meetings watching people, analysing what they say and what they don't say. Yesterday was a long day, with a Zoom meeting in the morning, a 2 hour meting in the afternoon and then an evening meeting that saw me home at 8:45pm. Not late compared to my previous life - in Scotland I was frequently not home until midnight (you wouldn't believe how many glass slippers I have lost), but as I'm on a phased return that was a bit much. I'm taking today off.

And, as expected, now that I'm back people are talking about how I used to be ill - it is assumed that I am fully recovered. This is my 3rd day on a gluten free diet and unlike last time - 25 years ago - I don't have a problem with it. I had already lost my appetite so it doesn't matter that I have to give up so many things that I used to like.

This is a rambling post today because my mind is still wandering, so I think I should stop and come back tomorrow. a day without conversations, criticisms and slurs on my ministry will probably be good for me. I think that last sentence was a bit of a giveaway!