Day forty five

Going back to what I said a couple of days ago about reading Theology. I also read books on Psychology. I am doing a Psychology degree at the moment, as I also said. I'm on a break until the 19th January, when I start my dissertation. But I read psychology books and I have read several on the history of madness, insanity, psychological problems, and what we unwittingly call "Mental Illness" today.

I'm reading a book at the moment called "The Sociopath Next Door". I like to check to see where I fit into these categories. Last year I bought and read "The Psychopath Test". I find it helps to check!

At one time I thought I could be a "Mad Doctor" - that's what psychiatrists were called in the 19th century.

As part of my MSc in Psychology we did a variety of Personality Tests. Every time I do these I always say I failed the test - not that I have no personality, but that mine always comes out as extreme. If there is graph I dip when I should peak and I peak when I should dip. I did one at the Superintendents' Induction course a few years ago. All our results went up on the screen; we were divided into 4 quadrants (how many quadrants would you expect!) , but there was one dot way up on the top left corner of the screen, and I knew, before it was announced to the group, I just knew, that was me. So having done these tests over the past 40+ years you can see why I read up on sanity/insanity. The author of the book I'm reading at the moment has another book, called "The Myth of Sanity". I may buy that one day.

But there are things that I am curious about. I never feel guilt. I don't remember ever feeling guilty about anything. I know that I have been, and as a Christian Theologian I know right from wrong, but I have no awareness of feeling it. Shame I have felt, but guilt - no. There is a website called: .https://honorshame.com/. It's worth looking at. It has articles about the difference between guilt and shame from a theological and biblical perspective. If you think back to the original sin - Adam & Eve - they didn't feel guilt when God came to see them after they sinned - they felt shame.

There is more about shame in the Bible than we generally consider.

But going back to me, I have those attachment issues I mentioned a few weeks ago (I can't remember what day I mentioned that) which means I don't feel things as deeply as "normal" people do. I also have a book in my library, called "Against Therapy" which questions what we mean by, and how we define, "Normal".

I may talk about "Attachment" some time in the next few days, or I may talk about Christmas.

That would be more appropriate possibly.

Two thoughts to leave you with:

1. Socrates said, "The unexamined life is not worth living".

   1. The writer of Ecclesiastes said, (in my paraphrase) "The examined life is not worth living".

      And just to remind you: "Ouch!"