Day Two of etc.

First of all, I need to correct what I wrote yesterday. That's the problem with reading things when my eyes are closing. The Methodist connexional wellbeing person doesn't want to talk to me, so it doesn't matter that she is off until the 13th March. She wants me to have a conversation with my chair of district about my phased return. And she (chair of district) has to fill in the Risk Assessment with me. It's sole purpose is to see if I am about to crack up.

And so to today. I slept better last night. I went to Trinity (Lowestoft) for the community cafe. I was greeted well. - one hug. We have people from a Residential Home come most weeks, and one of them told me she had been worried about me because she had thought I was dead. I assured her that I'm not. It's surprising how tiring it can be talking with people. I left early to go to a fraternal at the URC minister's house in Sotterley Common (for locals, it was not actually in Sotterley, it is in a field. I have been before). That solved my not concentrating when driving problem. As soon as I turned off the main road I ran into a Range Rover coming towards me. Well, strictly speaking, I pulled over to the mud on the side of the road so we could get past each other. Then about half a mile later I turned a bend into an oncoming tractor and trailer. The tractor pulled over this time. I had only been there about and hour and a half when my eyelids were getting so heavy I had to excuse myself and go home. This time it was a Tesco van! It keeps me alert!

Anyway, while I'm here: I looked up counsellors last night. I decided that, instead of going with BACP (British Association of Counsellors and Psychotherapists), I would look up the ACC (Association of Christian Counsellors). I'm a member of ACC, and that's who accredited me back then. I eventually looked up the BACP website.

The first thing you have to fill in is why you want to see a counsellor. I need the Methodist Church to tell me that. On my first Occupational Health report it said I was Clinically Depressed and on my latest one it said I am suffering from Chronic Depression. Who's suffering? That's like the joke:

"Does anyone in your family suffer from insanity?"

"No! We all enjoy it!"

Or is it the stress, now that they have decided, in their medical opinion, even though the results are not in yet, that stress is causing my pain?

And, apart from that, I couldn't find a suitable counsellor. They want me to have CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Counselling). That's to change the way I think and behave. I don't want to change either of these, so I'm going to turn down their offer.

Who knows what they'll say to that. Watch this space.