Day fifty nine - New Year's Eve

I'm not big on New Year. I find the concept strange. I read a brief thing by the evangelist J. John where he wrote that the New Year is like a blank page. I may be off work for the first month, but there are no blank pages for me. There are re-runs of the same things as in 2025. That's one of the things putting me off going back - the same old stuff. It wasn't successful stuff. It was just stuff.

The idea of a Happy New Year sounds good. Tomorrow the old calendars come down and one of the new ones goes up. People like to buy calendars and we always have 2 or 3. Never use them, but at least they are new.

My I-phone has a calendar on it, but there are a lot of weekly repeats. I also have a Filofax and it is the same, although I wrote these in by hand. There are no blank pages.

So, what was 2025 like?

No one knew I was ill at the end of 2024 and the beginning of 2025, so that wasn't a New Year either. We moved house from Lowestoft to Beccles on the 10th January. That was good. A quiet house in a quiet cul-de-sac. I had to find new ways of getting to all of my churches - most of them were nearer; some were further away. My volunteers at the Foodbank all left because I wouldn't let them change things and because I told them they had to do Safeguarding training. I was able to sleep better after that. I had more weddings than usual this year; and the usual number of funerals. I think I kept most of my opinions to myself for a change. It was in April that I first went to see a doctor and all the tests began. It was in October that I found the pains unbearable and considered taking November off to recover. That didn't work! I've had November and December off and I'm not recovered. I met with the District Chair in September and talked about me giving up. I still had time to curtail this appointment. She didn't want me to, so I agreed to stay on. But I was aware of a degree of burn-out. I remember it being said of me at Theological College that I would never burn out (because I was so laid-back). But I also remember Sam from Frodsham Free Methodist Church. Same used to greet people outside the door as they came to church and I used to greet them as they came inside. Sam always called me "The indefatigable Martin Keenan". Sam was an old Methodist Local Preacher who had left the Methodist Church to join us. He thought I had boundless energy. Here I am, 2 months off, still as worn out as when November began.

So what will change at midnight? I won't turn into a pumpkin! Will anything change, or will tomorrow be just another day?

Maybe by the time January finishes I will have received all the appropriate treatment and I will be recovered. I will definitely be a year older. I will have reached that age considered old by The Beatles.

Either way, I will be back tomorrow and I'll let you know how different it is.