Day eighty five

This should be more positive than yesterday. I woke around 6am with only the slightest of discomfort. I have been to Tesco for a few items. I am getting known there too because I keep talking to the people on the tills, and at 7 in the morning there are not many customers.

This was always why, in my teenage depression/suicidal days I didn't respond to any dark clouds. I always reasoned that tomorrow might be a better day. My approach was: Don't commit suicide when you feel depressed because you may not feel depressed tomorrow; so no hasty decisions. It worked!

So, still no results and that does still puzzle me. I know response rates are slow in the NHS across the country and our hospital is slower than the average, but surely after 4 weeks if my CT scan showed anything serious someone might have made the effort to write and tell me. So is no news good news?

But if there is nothing wrong with me, why the pain?

Or is it really the lining of my duodenal tract?

I have to request another "Fit Note" this week. I'll ask for a couple of blood tests while I'm at it. I am supposed to request a blood test next month to see how my cholesterol level is doing and I think I'll ask for a coeliac test. The hospital did the coeliac one on the 29th December and didn't get back to me - probably because I don't have coeliac disease, but I'd like to see it in writing.

I never intended this current series of blog posts to be about my self-diagnosis. I thought I was going to be writing about how I was coping with impending death, but that doesn't seem likely now.

I am surprised I've kept it up for this long. I genuinely didn't think I would, or could.

Anyway. Today is a good day!