Day 112

I didn't have anything to say yesterday, but I have today: OUCH!!!

I'm just back from my cystoscopy and it was and still is painful. I arrived early and it turned out not to be the unforgivable sin. There was a big waiting room with a lot of chairs and at its fullest there were 3 of us in there. The nurse (with pink hair) came to take my sample away and then she came back to take me away to do the paperwork. Her last question was: "Are you happy for the procedure to go ahead?". I said, "Happy? No. I'm not happy. But I'm prepared".

Then she took me back to the waiting room and then a few minutes after my appointment time, another nurse (with black hair) came to take me to the male urologist (a different one from last time, but equally not English). She asked me on the way if I had had this before, I said, no, but I have been looking forward to it.

There were 2 other nurses in with the urologist and he asked me if I was ready, and I said, "I can't wait". One of the nurses said that that wasn't the usual response. I told her I would keep smiling throughout. I didn't. That was painful.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I got to see the inside of my bladder (and everything else on the way up). It was a colour TV. I had a couple of sharp intakes of breath when it moved around (the camera, not the TV). He showed me an air bubble on the wall of my bladder (if it was me I would have popped it, but he didn't). Then there was the awful sensation that I was wetting myself. They were using a bag with some liquid, I think it was that, but I was wet when it was all over. The nurse who took me in - Jasmine - asked if it was as bad as I expected. I said it was worse.

Then I talked with the urologist and we talked about the fact that he mentioned my bladder wall being weak - he assumed I knew. I didn't.

But I have a diagnosis: "Urachal diverticulum". So I looked it up online: "a rare congenital anomaly where a blind-ending pouch remains at the junction of the bladder and the urachus due to incomplete closure during fetal development. While often asymptomatic and discovered incidentally, it can cause recurrent urinary tract infections (I had that once about 42 years ago - hardly recurrent), abdominal pain (Aha!), or lower urinary tract symptoms". So, maybe this is the diagnosis for which I have been waiting. I forgot to ask if there's a cure, but that hardly matters, because they want me back again. This is not the end. Further hospital visits will follow.

In the meantime - OUCH, on both levels. I have an extreme sharp pain where I don't want any pain, and my stomach hurts. I'm off for 2 paracetamol.