3am

It's 3am; I have been awake for about an hour. I wouldn't say the abdominal pain is unbearable because I'm bearing it. I had forgotten what it was like to be up at this time.

I can't complain about the NHS. Last Thursday (30th April) I had my latest hospital appointment. It was a telephone appointment with a dietician. I think she wanted to be able to say that I was a success - they had put me on a gluten free diet and now I was fixed. She was disappointed. She was also not happy that there had been no follow-up from the consultant, so she chased them up. And yesterday morning I had a text from the NHS telling me to book a blood test. I was a little busy and I forgot to do it, and then in the afternoon the dietician rang me again. She wanted to know how I was getting on. That's a thing you don't often hear. She apologised for phoning me out of the blue without a pre-arranged appointment! She also told me that the blood test was in response to her chasing up the consultant. They are convinced that I have coeliac disease, but I am having the blood test to see if there is anything else wrong. By "anything else" I think they mean something more than the list of things that they have already found - all of which can cause abdominal pains.

And it's funny how, when people ask me how I am, they say, "It's a pity they can't find anything"! They have found more than I would like them to find.

I am always amused to think that I am living the reverse of what Paul wrote to the Corinthians: "So we do not lose heart. Even though our outer nature is wasting away, our inner nature is being renewed day by day." (2 Corinthians 4: 16)

My outer nature doesn't seem to be too bad; everyone tells me how healthy I look, but my erosive oesophagitis and my Diverticular Disease and Urachal diverticulum suggests my inner nature is wasting away. I am dying from the inside out - which is what most people do.

Speaking of most people: I can't get a blood test until the 14th May because they are fully booked until then. That is a lot of blood tests. There are a lot of sick people out there.

Anyway, I am going to do something else now. I may watch the sunrise!